Mysoginst or true?

Let me say to start off there are two valid sides to this argument.....

The argument is: Why are women responsible for the behavior of men? Now, to put this in it's place, why is it "what were you doing when you got raped"? Is that relevant?

Does it matter? Really? I mean, no matter what I was doing (barring wearing a sign that said RAPE ME), it is completely irrelevant to the fact that it was done. To think that I am somehow responsible for the acts of a criminal is wrong. I see this, I even agree that asking these questions target the victim as responsible for the criminal's behavior instead of simply saying "well whatever you were doing, it sure didn't warrant THAT". I even agree that this line of thinking is wrong to some extent....

To some extent...

At the same time, I also realize risky behaviors have consequences. I mean, if I stand in the middle of the highway, is the driver the ONLY one to blame for my getting hit?

The problem is, it's a thin, foggy, smudged, murky ass line. Most of us don't intend to blame the victim. But sometimes it kind of is your fault to some extent. No one says it's right, it doesn't suck..but at the same time it's a hard call to make.

Is it blaming the victim? Maybe, I guess it is to some extent....but at the same time, I'd also ask "what idiot stands in the middle of the road????" if someone gets hit. Let's draw the analogy out, because I'm not taking sides here, I'm trying to work through it. This is not my opinion, as of this moment, my opinion is forming, so if you flame me you're an asshole.

I guess if you're crossing the street then shit, that sucks. But at the same time, if you're standing in the middle of the road wearing black clothes at 3 am...it's not that you deserve it, but you can hardly be surprised at the result? It doesn't mean it's a good thing or a right thing, but it's hardly a shocker...

I guess I get that "well how were you dressed" is irrelevant to any case. I mean, that is definitely blaming the victim. Men go to nudie bars and don't rape women, so they just need to learn some control. I don't see a problem in agreeing that my clothing choices shouldn't be dictated because some man might feel urges. Some men might feel urges at hats...doesn't mean I quit wearing hats. I don't care if you're prancing down 5th Avenue buck naked, that doesn't relieve men of their obligation to control themselves.

But at the same time, I don't see the problem with protecting yourself via where you go and what you do. I don't see a problem with someone saying "that type of behavior could lead to rape". That doesn't make it your fault, but the fact is walking around Crime Central at 3 am even in a burka isn't exactly a good decision, neither is walking around there without a police escort. I don't see anything wrong with the warning. I don't see a problem with saying that "heavy drinking with unknown strangers could lead to rape" because at the same time I don't see a problem saying "walking around Port Arthur after dark could lead to you getting shot". Why not give yourself as much control over your fate as possible by making the dangerous areas or behaviors known? I really don't know if it's right to say that people can't say certain things because that "blames the victim". Sometimes it IS the victim...

If you stand in the middle of a police shootout and you know they are shooting...well it is kind of your fault you got shot. Or the highway analogy.

Look, I've been there and I wasn't doing risky behavior. I have a friend that was a good woman and at home alone not engaging in risky behavior. But I also have friends that didn't take their fate into their own hands: hung out at a bar and didn't watch their drink even though I know *I* told them not to leave it unattended. They didn't ask for it, they didn't deserve it, but they also didn't prevent it. We lock our doors, we watch the parking lot when we have to go out alone at night, we ask for identification before opening the door, we have alarms...in so many other areas of life we are warned to take our fate into our hands to the best of our ability and it's not our fault when things go wrong anyway. I'd think it would be irresponsible of us to NOT do the same when it comes to our bodies. It would be nice if no one had to say "that type of behavior is risky and can lead to x, y , and z", if we didn't have to lock our doors, etc.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't think a warning is blaming us for men's behavior. I do agree that society places too much responsibility on the victim for the criminal's acts in this case. But I don't think a warning is any more demanding than a warning to lock your front door to keep from being robbed.

Now you can flame.