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Monday, April 19, 2010


You know what gets me on the whole Phoebe Prince thing? Everyone being surprised that kids are so savage. Really? You didn't know that? PARENTS are surprised? What have YOU been doing instead of watching your kids.

"Lord of the Flies" wasn't just a fiction book. Children, left to their own devices, are savage little creatures. Reading any serious cognitive development time line would tell you that. WE were all little savages as kids. It's up to our parents to steer us in appropriate directions. Criminalizing a bunch of kids that are cognitively incapable of judging the long term effects of their current behavior is ridiculous. You educate these kids to show them the long term effects of teenage pregnancy, drunk driving, etc and yet they are supposed to be criminally responsible for not knowing the consequences of picking on people? That's just ONE thing wrong with the whole picture. You hold the school accountable, you hold the parents accountable, and may look into why Phoebe felt suicide was a more viable option than trusting her parents to protect her, even through removing her from school if necessary?

Some say what if this was your kid...well it was my kid. You do recall I homeschool right? That's one reason why I do so. My kid wouldn't suicide, she'd do exactly what she did: Tell Mom because mom would put it right, one way or the other. My kids trust me to defend them.

I know, intimately, the negative effects of bullying. TV has nothing to do with it. WE, not tv, but WE as a society, show our kids acceptable behavior. Society is not tv, society is a collective of individuals. TV should never be quoted as an excuse because if you taught your children properly the difference between tv and reality. They can watch all the violence they want and not BE violent. So easy to blame tv so we don't look to ourselves.

Bullying is done by our politicians, our religious, our scientific. We bully scientists into giving the results we want (or we'll yank your funding). We bully each other religiously (or you'll go to hell, lose your job, become a social pariah). We bully each other by class status and political belief, we bully each other constantly in the real every day world. Now I'm not talking about all laws, but the law is used to bully. Smoke and you get a ticket (it's still a legal activity and thus this is simply bullying, if you really cared you'd make it illegal). You do it when a democrat says "health bill or you don't care if people die". You do it when a Republican says "follow the bible or you'll go to hell AND you don't care about the US". You do it when you insinuate that you don't love children if you don't throw yourself wholeheartedly into whatever bullshit the media says about FOR THE CHILDREN. Hell, the US does it constantly as a nation. So many parents believe the US is the greatest nation ever and our kids see that and see our behavior, you can hardly fault them for emulating the greatest nation ever.

We are a society of bullies. We bully when we let our opinions over ride fact and then use whatever means to intimidate others into changing how they feel. Just as someone has said I must not care about the children or this girl's death because I don't think the other kids should be criminalized. Therapy, you bet your ass, criminalized no. The school definitely failed in their job and go after them with my blessing. It's not that I don't care, but I do think that bullying the bullies is hardly the correct response. They learned this is ok from somewhere, even if it was only their parents failure to instruct them. Perhaps it would be better if we all quit bullying each other and show our children better behavior?

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Bassinet Recall

Read here

I used one for my 3 youngest, the oldest of which is 5. You aren't supposed to lower the flap with the bar there. If the flap is lowered the bassinet is supposed to be pushed up against your bed and the bar isn't supposed to be on the bassinet. Any of you read those instructions it should say the same. Mine was the Graco one, btw.

IMO, they weren't the irresponsible ones and it's a shame the babies were hurt and not the stupid parents.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Mysoginst or true?

Let me say to start off there are two valid sides to this argument.....

The argument is: Why are women responsible for the behavior of men? Now, to put this in it's place, why is it "what were you doing when you got raped"? Is that relevant?

Does it matter? Really? I mean, no matter what I was doing (barring wearing a sign that said RAPE ME), it is completely irrelevant to the fact that it was done. To think that I am somehow responsible for the acts of a criminal is wrong. I see this, I even agree that asking these questions target the victim as responsible for the criminal's behavior instead of simply saying "well whatever you were doing, it sure didn't warrant THAT". I even agree that this line of thinking is wrong to some extent....

To some extent...

At the same time, I also realize risky behaviors have consequences. I mean, if I stand in the middle of the highway, is the driver the ONLY one to blame for my getting hit?

The problem is, it's a thin, foggy, smudged, murky ass line. Most of us don't intend to blame the victim. But sometimes it kind of is your fault to some extent. No one says it's right, it doesn't suck..but at the same time it's a hard call to make.

Is it blaming the victim? Maybe, I guess it is to some extent....but at the same time, I'd also ask "what idiot stands in the middle of the road????" if someone gets hit. Let's draw the analogy out, because I'm not taking sides here, I'm trying to work through it. This is not my opinion, as of this moment, my opinion is forming, so if you flame me you're an asshole.

I guess if you're crossing the street then shit, that sucks. But at the same time, if you're standing in the middle of the road wearing black clothes at 3's not that you deserve it, but you can hardly be surprised at the result? It doesn't mean it's a good thing or a right thing, but it's hardly a shocker...

I guess I get that "well how were you dressed" is irrelevant to any case. I mean, that is definitely blaming the victim. Men go to nudie bars and don't rape women, so they just need to learn some control. I don't see a problem in agreeing that my clothing choices shouldn't be dictated because some man might feel urges. Some men might feel urges at hats...doesn't mean I quit wearing hats. I don't care if you're prancing down 5th Avenue buck naked, that doesn't relieve men of their obligation to control themselves.

But at the same time, I don't see the problem with protecting yourself via where you go and what you do. I don't see a problem with someone saying "that type of behavior could lead to rape". That doesn't make it your fault, but the fact is walking around Crime Central at 3 am even in a burka isn't exactly a good decision, neither is walking around there without a police escort. I don't see anything wrong with the warning. I don't see a problem with saying that "heavy drinking with unknown strangers could lead to rape" because at the same time I don't see a problem saying "walking around Port Arthur after dark could lead to you getting shot". Why not give yourself as much control over your fate as possible by making the dangerous areas or behaviors known? I really don't know if it's right to say that people can't say certain things because that "blames the victim". Sometimes it IS the victim...

If you stand in the middle of a police shootout and you know they are shooting...well it is kind of your fault you got shot. Or the highway analogy.

Look, I've been there and I wasn't doing risky behavior. I have a friend that was a good woman and at home alone not engaging in risky behavior. But I also have friends that didn't take their fate into their own hands: hung out at a bar and didn't watch their drink even though I know *I* told them not to leave it unattended. They didn't ask for it, they didn't deserve it, but they also didn't prevent it. We lock our doors, we watch the parking lot when we have to go out alone at night, we ask for identification before opening the door, we have so many other areas of life we are warned to take our fate into our hands to the best of our ability and it's not our fault when things go wrong anyway. I'd think it would be irresponsible of us to NOT do the same when it comes to our bodies. It would be nice if no one had to say "that type of behavior is risky and can lead to x, y , and z", if we didn't have to lock our doors, etc.

I guess what I'm saying is I don't think a warning is blaming us for men's behavior. I do agree that society places too much responsibility on the victim for the criminal's acts in this case. But I don't think a warning is any more demanding than a warning to lock your front door to keep from being robbed.

Now you can flame.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

I am a right wing utopian

Generally speaking, that doesn't even make sense. I mean, if you stick to the TRADITIONAL party behavior (and conveniently ignore that they switch around so much they make a cup and marble game look stable) one can not be a right winger AND a utopian. I mean, generally utopians are "let's all help and love one another" and that has been trad democrat. Which I suppose makes the supposed "insult" right on the head: I'm a centrist.

I believe anyone who isn't centrist isn't really American in their heart. *stokes the flames* Go ahead and turn purple and then you can read on to why I feel this way, you might admit I have a point.

While one may say "they just disagree on which way America should go"...I'd say the party lines are actually ANTI-American. What they disagree on is which side should force the other side to live their way. Really, that's their big fight. Which is the exact opposite of our entire Constitution that gives everyone the freedom to be themselves.

Not to mention, the complete split because of party bickering. The idea behind America was a bunch of intelligent people putting their personal beliefs to the side in order to make a country they could all live together in peacefully. So guess what, you can christian, wiccan, or stays at the door behind you, because it's not about's about ALL of us.

"My faith makes me who I am" If you can't seperate your faith from your job (as so many do) then get a new job. Admit your weakness and move out of line. Admit you can't rise above your own opinions in order to remember you're not the ONLY person in this country.

"We should help others". There is NO proven fact we should help others. That is a belief the same as "there is a god" is a belief. You may feel it is our moral obligation, but let's not forget that's YOUR OPINION and shouldn't have anything to do with how I live my life.

Can't we all just agree that THEY can't force me to be christian and YOU can't force me to pay for debts that aren't mine? Let's stick to some common infringements and you just make sure we don't stomp on each other on the way? I am not allowed to kill other people and they can't kill me..that's not religious or liberal. I think that we can all agree on some human one should be allowed to take the life a walking talking human person without some questioning. I believe in killing in self defense, but I don't mind if the police want to be sure it WAS actually self defense.

There are some issues that are far more murky than forcing us to become charitable or religious at virtual gunpoint. So why not just compromise? Why not, instead of saying (both sides) it must be MY way, why can't it simply be "what will allow us to fix the problem while maintaining as much freedom as possible". Because our entire Constitution was based upon the idea of NOT FORCING OTHERS. And I don't mean that bullshit broad brush "that's offensive and you're forcing me to listen cuz I'm trying to eat here"...that's an easy fix...see which customer the owner wants to lose. And if you're the customer, show a little fuckin' dignity and find a place that doesn't give you shit.

You are not you when you assume public office. To be honest, people who vote for Obama because "they like him" are stupid. We aren't and never should have been voting because we like them, we should vote because he upholds the freedoms we believe in and that we were granted through the loss of millions of lives over the course of two centuries. We should not lead by force or by talks, but by example. How can we ever show how wonderful a democratic republic is if we're so busy removing it from our own country. "We're bringing them freedom", but if we were showing them how valuable and wonderful it is, they could bring it themselves. Maybe with a little help...

I don't care about Obama. I didn't care about Bush at first. I don't have to fuck them or even have a beer with them..I care about what they were supposed to do. Bush failed miserably and I began to actively dislike the face he showed us and the face he gave America. Really, I don't hate Bush...I don't even know him. But you know...granted it's only been 5 months into his very first term...I'm not seeing much of a difference in how Obama and Bush are...they just have different agendas they want pushed...

Monday, June 29, 2009

And another pedo bites the dust

So yeah, I know, this a really unpopular opinion right now....and we all know how concerned I am with my popularity. But is there ANYONE else that's actually used logic and realized that we're probably down one pedophile in the world instead of hailing him as an American "icon"? Yes, I'm sorry, you don't just start being a pedo when someone accuses you, and Neverland preceded those accusations by MANY years.

And really, it's not like I just chose a side. I mean, I sat and thought this out years ago.

1. If the guy down the street with no children had opened a "private" theme park and invited ONLY your defenseless little boys over to play, are you really NOT going to think that's at least weird enough to choose "better safe than sorry"?

2. Are you aware that many men that have been accused of pedophilia AND PROVEN innocent still have their lives ruined by the accusation alone? But MJ's speshul cuz he made "Thriller".

3. The man had $20 million dollars to pay off in hush money AND one of the largest fan bases in the world, and what is the reason he believed that he couldn't ensure an accurate investigation?

4. The boys all looked amazingly similar, almost like...oh, I don't know..a profile....I mean, call me crazy but all MY friends don't look alike, yet all the men I have had sex with have shared many common traits. I'm just sayin'...

5. I really don't think a "deeply troubling childhood" excuses his behavior at all, any more than I think being famous does. I had a "deeply troubling childhood" and it doesn't excuse MY behavior.

6. The examination of his genitals came back with a conclusion of "highly accurate but inconclusive". Now, if it was a simple matter of "well the description is a very accurate one of ANYONE's penis" one would have thought that that would be what was said. Highly accurate is more than what I'd expect if the kid would have walked in on him in the bathroom. Acoording to police records there were some very incrimating matches found...Of course, the police were stymied when they tried to get his medical records and found that ALL OF THEM HAD BEEN RECENTLY REMOVED.

7. Why the need for a confidentiality agreement for "whatever went on while on Neverland Ranch" if it was all sweet and innocent? Guess what happens in Neverland stays in Neverland, huh?

8. Micheal's lawyer, who is well known for secretly taping conversations, did NOT tape the conversation with the little boy.....but I'm sure there's a completely innocent explanation for that....

9. I find it interesting how the things said on the Barbara Walters interview he and Lisa Marie did that he said a lot of things that the police and district attorney verified as inaccurate, and we're talking about the serious questions such as him being cleared and the photos of nude boys he claimed were not found in his home.

I could go on and on..but hell, "I'm a 35 year old man and like it when little boys sleep in my bed" would have me out the door of Neverland before anyone got their coats off.

The fact of the matter is, it points to guilty as hell. I personally think those that defended him are too star struck to get the facts and SEE the guilt. But for me it's easy, if this was ANY other grown man, what would I think? I would think he would be one who got shot for even looking at my kids. So tossing "but it's MICHEAL JACKSON" in there doesn't sway me.

I think he's guilty as guilty can get, I think the parents of these kids who would think "it's Micheal Jackson!!!" are also guilty as well. I think all of them belong in prison on the same charges. So, it's really offensive to be told how "he's an American Icon" by people who are all too star struck to separate his fame from the facts. And because of all that, everything he's ever done is invalidated. He's not an AMERICAN icon..if he's what represents us, we're in deep shit indeed.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Drunk salvation

So I go to Wal-Mart a few weeks ago....I hate Wal-mart, I really do. But I had to have tylenol for the baby and what else is open at midnight? So while I was there I grabbed up a few other things, gatorade, crackers, etc. I made sure to keep it below 20 and slid into the 20 items or less checkout, grateful one was still open.

Now on the through the parking lot I noticed a shit ton of cops. I mean, like they all had a meeting or something. The cashier is a woman I've spoken with frequently and jokingly I asked "What'd y'all do? Install a donut shop where the McDonald's use to be?" She asked "why?" and I commented on all the cops outside. Now, note I am actually the second in line, as she was currently checking out a six pack of Michelob. I didn't look at the person in front of me, except to note that a person was there. The folks in the 20 items or less are transient. I doubt life long bonds form from those meetings even occasionally. If we weren't in a hurry, we'd not be in the 20 items or less line...

However, this person declares "Y'know why thar thar?" Now, note I do speak redneck, as I grew up one, as you've all surely noticed my frequent use of "y'all" and "ain't". I turn my attention to see this man listing in front of me, eyes glazed, and see an opportunity for entertainment. Please folks, think twice..don't ignore my error...

"And why is that?" "Thar thar to make thar peace with God." Immediately, I stifled a moan and felt regret. I also pictured either a holy descension or a shoot out. Generally "making peace" suggests a last minute regret that spans the course of your life, where you realize you're about to die and realize that all those things you were going to make up for? Yeah, that time has passed.

I settled for an "Uh-huh" and scooted forward as it was my turn and he was done. He stepped back and said "Have you? Will you be duhlivered from Satan?" Yes, DUHlivered, I'm not making this shit up. In my defense, I was tired. "I don't believe in Satan". "Well you beeve in God right?" Yes, beeve..if you hadn't noticed, he was drunk. "If I don't believe in satan, one would find it hard to believe I'd buy God." "Young lady, you need to hear the word of God." At which point I realize, not only am I embarking upon a debate about god with a "christian", and not only am I doing so with a DRUNK "christian", but I'm fixing to be testified to and offered salavation from a drunk "christian" and it was my own damn fault. I looked desperately to see if she was done, and she must have saw a pleading look in my eye as she said "Hey, this is my job, it's not professional for me to discuss." Way to give her credit though, she moved faster.

To forestall further conversation I hoped to surprise him into stupidity, "Have you read Darwin's theory on religious fanatisism and the irony inherent in the christian belief system?" Please also note, in order to stupify, they must be able to basically understand what you're saying, even if you are talking out of your ass. It only worked on the cashier. I paid her quickly and edged past the man with "I'm a Pagan". That worked. By the time he collected his wits I was to the metal thingy-ma-jig and by the time he made it that far I was in the crosswalk.

While the meeting itself may not normally be blog worthy, it brings to mind all kinds of things. It's like Jimmy Stewart duhlivering a sermon against adultery while in the throws of his own ejaculation with his prostitute. Really?

It's no shock to me that many christians frequently sin while telling you YOU are the one going to hell. However, it's rare to encounter who actually does it WHILE in the act of sinning. Not to mention with NO consideration of others. Really? You're going to give me shit about not believing in god and I know you're drunk and fixing to drive home. (Yes, I DID stop the security and tell them if they didn't want sued perhaps it was a good idea to go do something about the drunk standing in the middle of the parking lot looking for me..I don't need god to make me do something responsible). Not to mention, is god really worried about MY salvation? I mean, you may be 10 minutes away from killing yourself or others....I would hope he has at least ONE thing bigger than me on his mind. Like the fact that maybe you are fixing to commit murder and/or suicide. And don't give me that shit about god's mind being infinite and being able to encompass many concerns. If you want to go there, perhaps he could do something about those starving children and dying mothers on the other side of the world.

Which brings me to another question: If he can't intervene on behalf of all those other evils that abound in the world....why the fuck would he intervene for my salvation, and half ass it with a drunk no less?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Supreme Court disappointing

We've all heard about the Arizona girl who was strip searched over a single accusation of possessing know, that dangerous drug that's been known to.....umm...ummm.....well you know, it's dangerous.

While she partially won her case in that the actions taken were wrong, noone's going to be punished for it. Because we know we all should reserve the right for school officials to strip our children at will. It's not like schools sometimes house sicko perverts...right? Right?

If I were this girl's parents the question wouldn't be "could I sue them"..the question would be "under which criminal charges can I charge them". That is, if there was anything left to sue after I beat the ever loving shit out of them. In my eyes, this is sexual abuse.

The Supreme Court's decision is disappointing in that the official receives no punishment. However, in all honesty I can't hold them solely responsible. The parents went the wrong route. The sexual humiliation of your child you want jail time, honey. Who sues a fuckin' pedophile??? And while the principal may not be a pedophile...maybe...the idea is that his misuse of his authority permitted the sexual abuse of your child....that's jail time. I don't understand why he can walk, what was daddy doing? Maybe it's uncivilized of me, but a beating does leave a lasting impression. Ok, so *I* believe in a beat down, but really, what kind of parents want MONEY??????

Does anyone know if they tried criminal charges and maybe that route didn't work? I mean, then I could understand the money route..I mean the guy needs to suffer SOMEHOW....but only if they tried criminal charges first and those didn't work out. Although, it seems to me it'd be a landmark case. I mean, this isn't the first child to get strip searched by school officials. There was that gal who had to raise her dress during prom to make sure she wasn't wearing a thong (and didn't the teacher feel her up a little too?). Some kids were strip searched in a private school for $42. Hey, I got an idea! How about we waterboard the kids until they 'fess up!!??

So why didn't the school call the police and the parents...oh wait, she wasn't accused of a CRIME. So a strip search is justified how? The word of another 13 year old girl. ONE. That's it. No history of trouble, excellent GPA....and for what? Heroin? Crack? A gun? No, ibuprofen, that horribly dangerous substance you can't get unless you.....walk into a pharmacy with $10.

“My thought process,” Justice Souter said, “is I would rather have the kid embarrassed by a strip search, if we can’t find anything short of that, than to have some other kids dead because the stuff is distributed at lunchtime and things go awry.

Embarassed?? Embarassed??? Do you have any idea of the mental and emotional trauma related to this? Thanks for the next pedophile defense when they take naked pictures of children. I appreciate that. "Oh, the naked pictures don't HURT them, just embarass them a little..teehee". But hey, as long as they're school officials, they don't NEED a defense. They just have to pay a student $20 for a verbal accusation and they can ogle to their heart's content. Don't worry, you won't get in trouble.

One has to wonder how the result would have turned out had the girl gone to child services and said "my daddy strip searches me everyday".