Ah, the joys of small town living...and of course, idiots

For the record, before I get off on my little bitchfest, I'm moving the blog to a personal page of my own where I can set up everything exactly as I want it....as soon as I have everything exactly as I want it. I will link it when I get it done.

I spoke with several members of my family yesterday and caught up on what's going on with them. Well, my gran wanted to know if I knew so and so and I said no. He ran for some small town office back when we lived there, but I never knew him personally. He ran for like mayor or judge or something. It was before we moved and I don't recall if he won or not (obviously not now that I think about it). Don't really care. And the town isn't big enough to actually use a website for the news (hell, they barely have a newspaper) so no linkage ftm. Hmm..might check Abilene news..one sec. Nah, guess not..maybe soon. Anyhow, so the fella was somehow implicated in child porn. His home was searched, and boy is he guilty. Pictures found (ones HE took, not downloaded ones), etc.

Apparently this man was left with a baby daughter to raise when he got divorced years ago (and who knows what he did with her and her friends *shudders*). And apparently this all came about when his daughter moved out and he was still picking up young girls and having them stay the night. HIs modus operandi seems to be buying the girls gifts, extending to even new cars. I think as a parent, I'd be a bit suspicious if my little girl brought back a vehicle one day and I didn't pay for it! Not to mention cell phones and lingerie....So apparently these rumors of his proclivities have been going around for YEARS. So, here's the questions:

I KNOW small town gossip, I lived in this town off and on for years as an adult and a child. This guy was a "upstanding figure", so you could be deaf and you heard people talking about him. Where the hell were the parents and what were they thinking? A man is picking up your young daughter (13-16 and there's the possibility of younger) to come stay the night at his house, gives her nice gifts, NOT SUSPICIOUS???? Ok ok, so you can't lock your child in a box, gotcha, I agree. However, someone starts buying gifts for my child and she's asking to stay over, I would definitely say the "safe than sorry" route would be paramount in my mind. Of course, I also don't believe the tv is a babysitter, so I'm a little wierd to start with I guess.

Why is it people think just because someone is "upstanding" means they can do no wrong? Especially considering the news today. Congressmen picked up for child porn, Jeffrey Dahmer, but yet Joe Blow who ran for county judge can't be any less than a swell guy because well, he did run for judge! And stop and think about this, you are not blowing off a guy who might come in and steal your tv. You are blowing off a man that can hurt your CHILD. Really people, is it worth the fucking chance???? Have you lost your everloving minds???? This isn't an adult or a tv, this is a CHILD. You know, young, naive, defenseless?? Are you getting a picture here? We're talking YEARS of therapy, possibly medication, unwanted pregnancies, their future in ruins, and the possibility that they become so messed up that they become sickos themselves. THIS is what you want for your child just so you can say "I know this guy"????

Now, I'm not one of those "everything for the children". Nope, can't stand it myself. I truly believe that when it comes to the things I do, I'm no longer a child and refuse to halt my behavior just because you want to raise your child in a vacuum. However, in those cases we are talking about cursing, watching violent television. We are NOT talking about the rape/molestation of a child.

He moved one girl in: So um, hey mom, what the fuck were you doing? What kind of mother lets her young daughter move in with a middle aged man and shower her with gifts?????

Maybe I'm getting a bit irate at the wrong thing. Having come from this town (and boy has this happened before there), I know some girls there are a lot less than innocent. However, isn't it our job as parents to watch out for these things and to keep them from happening to our children? Even if our children are a lot less than innocent, does that negate our responsibility to teach them that they are not prostitutes? Or to protect them from those that would take advantage of them? Has society succumbed to lazy parenting? YES, it has.

With the government running more and more of our households, taking decisions away from parents that used to be the parents decisions, we have encouraged parents to let society raise our children and not ourselves. Who knows our children better than we do? Who knows what our individual children need more than we do? Who knows what signs our children are showing more than we do? Damn sure not 100 guys across the country who's never met US, let alone our children!

Our job as parents is to protect our children and guide them to be good adults that are happy with themselves. By protection I do NOT mean "no tv except Disney" and "cover up that statue of David so little Annie doesn't see a penis". I mean that sometimes to protect you have to educate. And you CAN educate your child without scaring the living shit out of them or making them terrified of everyone who passes them. I've discussed sexual molestation since before my girls could understand what I'm talking about. Make it a regular occurence and stay within what they can understand. Even a 4 year old knows pain and shame. It's not too hard to say "If someone touches you somewhere that bothers you or makes you feel bad or hurt you, you come tell me". And don't leave it at that! These predators are masterful manipulators! They will say things to convince your child not to tell, and they are GOOD. You can use the feelings your child has to help them. You know almost all children believe that mommy and daddy are invincible and can save the world. USE THAT! "No matter what anyone says, you come tell me. Noone is big enough to kill me, especially if they have hurt you." "Don't ever let someone tell you that if you tell me something I won't love you anymore. I will always love you no matter what happens." And SHOW them...a child cannot believe in your love, have faith in your protection unless you show them that it's warranted. And for goodness sake, pay attention to your children. I know where my kids are at all times. I know how they react to stress, I know how they act when they've done something wrong, I know how they react when they feel they've been denied fairness or justice or have been unfairly punished. Don't stop mentioning just because now they are 13. Reinforce it! Now they are dealing with a whole new set of possibilities. Like the girls in the town, now they are getting to an age where they are learning they can get a man's attention (or a woman's, this doesn't sexually discriminate) and that sometimes you can get stuff out of a man. And at this point this is not just about rape/molestation, this is also about values and self respect. This is about the new things they will be told and tempted to give into or believe. Remember back to when you were a teenager and the goofy shit you fell for...your kid is no more immune than you are to fall for the goofy shit. And sometimes the goofy shit can hurt them (my mother once told me that there was a rash of bouncing girls when she was a teenager because some of the guys told the girls that if they jumped up and down after sex they wouldn't get pregnant, big surprise a bunch ended up pregnant huh?)

Ah, why bother? Red flags were thrown up about this guy for years and so many ignored them. The good parents are already paying attention and the rest never will...