Politesse dear, always

Y'know, sometimes, ok, all the time, the sheer impoliteness of people drives me nuts. I mean, I know coming from Queen Asshole that's funny, but I may be an asshole but I'm a polite asshole. The thing is, my assholishness (yes I made it up) is just honesty that pisses folks off. So I'll tell you there's birdshit on your head, but unless you're making fun of someone's hat, I'll take you to the side to do it.

So I'm in this email group with other moms of gifted kids. One mom is, well, stuck up is the word I'd use. Her 14 year old spends his free time playing video games and wants to be a game designer when he grows up. I feel sorry for the kid, because his mother obviously believes that since SHE thinks so low of games then he should have higher aspirations and "quit wasting his time". Apparently she missed all the after school movies that show that parents like that drive their children away.

So anyhow, she writes in how this is what he does in his free time and how to make him stop because video games are immature and she knows of some adults who play and goes on to imply that adults who game are emotionally deficient and how worthless her son is going to be for making this his career. I do take offense at the attitude, but not her, I mean, how is she supposed to know I'm a gamer? So I sent in my two cents....it took me 2 hours, but I was pretty confident that I had come off as "you seem kind of misinformed, I'd like to show you the other side of it". I told her I was a gamer, I explained the intricacies, the studies. I promise, every line I wrote was combed over and over in order to inform and not sound rude. It may seem like a waste of time, but all I could think of was this poor kid being raised by a woman that tells him his dreams are worthless, which to a kid could imply that he's worthless for having such worthless dreams.

Now, I expected, as we're a polite group, maybe not agreement, but maybe a tone down of the immature, worthless gamER attitude. I mean, as much of a bitch as I am, *I* would have toned it down. Hell no, she writes this passive aggressive email back about how this is her opinion and reiterates over and over and over again how worthless and useless and he needs to stop. I mean, says it to the point where I know two things: 1. she's not interested in the other side, 2. this is a personal attack. So I write another email, changing tactics and focusing on the need to not let her personal opinion influence her treatment of her son and deriding his dreams. A sure fire way of installing a wall between them. Which was a lot nicer than the other response from another mom: "I feel sorry for your son for having you for a mother."

Which rates yet another PA email in which she relentlessly pursues the worthlessness and immaturity of someone who plays games. I quit at this point. Not because I don't want to give the poor kid a break, but hey, there's only so much you can do from email with a jackass and engaging in the "you're a cunt" fight accomplishes absolutely nothing for the boy. And quite frankly, here's my elitism showing, but she's obviously not sophisticated enough to engage in a conversation on a topic without letting her personal opinion permeate every inch of it. I mean, she won't get the larger point of "you're causing you and your child issues" because all she cares about is the topic itself "gamers are idiots".

How stupid can you be? I mean, look, I have a lot of opinions and many are set in stone. Not because I'm closed minded, but because I've thought long and hard about each of them. If anything directly proves them wrong, I'll change them, but as things stand, through much consideration, they are my opinions and I'm very vehement about them. However, your opinion on a subject cannot override the greater issues, especially if it's someone you profess to love.

This is a story I shared with her: I find sports fucking useless. I think players are overpaid and it's pretty sad to get paid so much for running around with a ball while there are men and women who work harder or contribute more to society that barely scrape by. I could go on and on in very derogatory terms that would make my opinion on sports crystal clear and make people who watch them feel like I personally think that person is useless for watching them.

One problem here: *I* dont' see the point. That doesn't mean that there isn't one. That damn sure doesn't mean that people I care about or know are useless over one thing *I* don't get. My husband LOVES sports, he's a jock through and through. To let my personal opinion override the big picture would cause our marriage issues. I know my husband isn't worthless. I know my friends are not immature and worthless. To define them over my personal opinion would be stupid. I'm very careful to keep my opinion out of his day to day ball games. The only time it comes up is if we're trying to find new ground, which has happened once. LOL

My husband feels the exact same way about my gaming. He thinks it's worthless and stupid. He also does not deride it, though I'm sure he wants to sometimes. We give each other shit sometimes, in joking. "ah, look, he's playing with the ballie again, another million!" or him: "Ooooo double experience weekend?" *orgasm sounds follow*. It's all in fun and we each try to make time for the other to engage in their chosen activity. He frequently heads out with his buddy to watch UFC pay per view fights at a bar, I try to leave him alone during important games. I get to play for a few hours while he takes over child care. For one, while he is a jock and I'm a gamer, these only define us to some extent, it isn't who we ARE. These things don't invalidate why we love one another. To let these opinions override who that person is, it would ruin our marriage. To be honest, no matter how much I don't like sports, I still love that part of him.

You can't let your opinion on something ruin something with someone you love. There are times when you have to set that to the side because to not do so would drive you apart. You wanna drive a wall between you and your kid, do it because he beats up old ladies or does drugs, don't do it over fuckin' video games.

This was a rant on politeness that turned into a rant over stupidity, but hey, you've read this enough, can you honestly say you didn't see the turn coming?