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Saturday, October 18, 2008

Homeschooling, unschooling and "Bad Parents"

There's this site called babble.com. Apparently they allow articles that go against the grain of standardized parenting. Some homeschoolers on there. Joanne Rudnall wrote an article on her first attempt at homeschooling. She has chosen to use an unschooling method. IMO, a perfect method at least to start with seeing as how her son is 5 years old. The article is fine, I'm sure we could find places to disagree were we to talk, but the article doesn't bother me. The comments, WOW. What a bunch of losers. What gets me is the hoops they jump through in their mind to justify their OMG reaction with.

1. The little boy gets the appropriate amount of sleep for a young child, he just stays up late. Why is it that everyone thinks that everyone else has to follow THEIR timetable? I'm sorry, I'm not a morning person. I get my energy and my drive after dark. Since we've started homeschooling the kids sleep as they wish. My older children are up at the butt crack of dawn, greeting the sun as it rises to the sky. Myself and my younger children come blearily stumbling through the house after daylight to find that my oldest children are eating breakfast and have already started on today's lessons. I would hardly find this abuse. Ok, so their lives aren't lived by bells and whistles, ordering them when to stay or go. They learn punctuality, as I'm a great believer in it. We have appointments just like any other family and those times are strictly adhered to. Just in the rest of our life, a clock doesn't run it.

2. She took him to a bar. OMGOMGOMG!!!!! Ok, not the bars YOU hang out in, but a family friendly pub type bar. She's English, as I understand it, that's normal. Where's the objection here? Is it the alcohol? If so, arrest any parent who's ever had a drink at home. I don't care if it's an upscale bar...it's not the dive we go to where there are fights every night, someone's always loudly sloshed, and the waitress has brained a guy twice with her tray because he can't keep his hands off her ass. He's not even getting alcohol, he's drinking cranberry juice. Get over it.

3. Why do people assume homeschoolers are some elite bunch with a ton of disposable money? I've never met or heard such a person. Sorry, but we make sacrifices to be able to stay home with our kids and teach them. We don't get Red Lobster every night, we don't drive a new car, we don't have a cool tv, our clothes are not in style (but they are comfortable). Every homeschool parent I know or have heard of barely make ends meet. We aren't taking advantage of a easy life, we are sacrificing for something we feel is more important.

4. A beer doesn't equal getting wasted. So if we get to have a beer or margarita at 2 pm at the playdate, that's no different than you coming home to your kids and having a martini in front of them. We don't assume YOU get roaring drunk, why do you assume we do?

5. The children were naked, playing in the mud. It seems if you're going to let kids play in the mud, nudity is the best option. Especially if you're riding a subway home. I get it, to you nudity means everyone is having sex. I'm sorry, not all of us tie sex to nudity. Some of us actually get naked for other reasons. I took my clothes off last week for a strange man, spread my legs wide open, and accepted his entry. He was my gynocologist. No sex involved...pervert. If you think those paper gowns mean anything except to make you feel better, you have issues. I mean really, they are up your cooch, is the paper gown really doing anything to keep him from seeing it? It's just there so you feel dignified.

6. She hasn't read the unschooling handbook. I find it amusingly strange that an unschooling parent has said that another unschooling parent is at fault because she didn't get information out of THE unschooling handbook. Waitwaitwait, you mean to tell me, the person who believes learning is best on hand and in the world (not from books) is telling another unschooler that she can unschool best if she gets it from...waitforit....a BOOK?????

7. He watched Juno. THAT'S NOT APPROPRIATE TV FOR A LITTLE BOY....Ok, YOU watch Disney every day. Who are you to say what's "appropriate" for a kid you haven't met? Ok, I get it, YOUR kid isn't smart enough to get it so other people's kids can't watch it. Why don't we tell all the kids who can read 4 grade levels ahead of their own that yes, I know you understand it and yes, the "baby" books are simple, but you are only 6 and so MUST only read the "baby" books. That's no different from telling an intelligent child he can only watch Sesame Street and Blue's Clues because it's for his "age group". You want to keep your kid limited, I suppose that's your business. MY kid however is going to be challenged at every opportunity. I think all the "oh so now your so cool because your kid can watch Juno" comments are jealousy because their kid can't UNDERSTAND Juno.

8. She's being arrogant? So are you, you are arrogant enough to think you know her whole life from an article. You are arrogant enough to think your method of raising children should override anyone else's. You're arrogant enough to think your rant should matter to anyone. She's ENGLISH. Different sense of humor, different way of talking, get over it.

9. Why do people think sending a child to school is the way to prepare a child for "real life"? I really don't know anyone who sits at a desk all day with only breaks for bathroom and lunch, calls his boss to get permission to use the bathroom, never talks to anyone, and listens to someone else lecture them for hours on end except for breaks on pre-made worksheets. No one, my husband doesn't know anyone either and he knows TONS of people. (My husband doesn't need a fave five, he needs a fave 60). We all know people who have to take responsibility for their own job, have meetings, take lunch and sometimes have lunch with a client, leave the office to go work on clients things, talk all day on the phone, and stop between clients to make sure their paperwork is filled out. They can take an hour off at any point in the day to go for a workout if they are stressed, accept phone calls from their wives (except during meeting times), and stop for a coke and a snack. If you're more working class (such as a roofer or welder) you definitely don't see a desk that day and you INTERACT (not merely in the presence of) with others. Oh wait, I DO know one guy who does that (except for listening to someone lecture him all day, he does do that part). He's a programmer and he has deplorable social skills. People consider him abnormal because he doens't talk to people much. Ok, so this situation is abnormal for adults, but acceptable for children because they are in the presence of 30 other kids they can't talk to? Wow, you're right, that's SO much better. Also, that whole segmented day thing, is your day segmented? I mean do you ONLY work on certain things at certain times of the day? What happens if something happens outside it's segment? Yes, I'm being deliberately obtuse, but really, you people SHOULD think about it.

Hell, you people should think, but I suppose that's entirely too much to ask.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I reaad the original article, and the writer's depiction of her child's day sounds much more like the original idea of a kindergarten as developed by Friedrich Froebel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrich_Fr%C3%B6bel) than the more formal version that most children get sent to.

The only real inherant problem with homeschooling is the risk of a lack of social interacction- but that clearly isn't a problem there, either, as there's a large social group of other parents and children.

But some people really like to think that what they're used to is the only correct way, don't they?

And the cultural clash- teenagers in Britain can drink from 18- I suppose many of the commentators forgot that the drinking age isn't 21 the world over. Sigh.

Great post- good points about how adult life isn't rigidly structured, so why on earth try to regiment children's lives so much?

Anonymous said...

On #7 - Actually, I was seeing that happen when I was in school 30 years ago. I was reading Lord of the Rings and the Silmarilion, my teacher thought it was more 'age appropriate' that I read Dick & Jane primers. I can't imagine it's gotten any better.

Sophistacat said...

"I really don't know anyone who sits at a desk all day with only breaks for bathroom and lunch, calls his boss to get permission to use the bathroom, never talks to anyone, and listens to someone else lecture them for hours on end"

I can...prisoners. :)