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Thursday, April 19, 2007

My daughter has a problem

My oldest girl is a genius...I'm pretty certain she's a genius, I do know her Iowa tests came back showing she could easily work at an 8th grade level (she's in 5th) and in some subjects work at a much higher level...try college. Ok, so I'm kind of bragging too. But it causes problems.

I understand these problems, I AM a genius. Let's pay attention for just a minute, I AM, a tested genius. I, however, am a definite ditz, that requires no testing. My IQ is high, but I forget everything and am more likely to find my glasses in the freezer and supper on my desk than the other way around. i don't know why, but this has happened. And I spent HOURS looking for my glasses, apparently the meat on the desk seemed perfectly normal. Well, up until I looked on my desk later and said "Why is there raw meat thawing out on my desk?" The point is, my IQ tests out at genius, I'm a fucking nitwit a good portion of the time. IQ is just a number, if you do nothing with it. It means less than the ant that you stepped on when you were mowing. The point is I AM a genius technically speaking, and why, do you ask, am I not some well known scientist or some such? Well, I lay that at the feet of several. The educational system is not cut out for geniuses. Your choices are homeschooling and skipping grades and remaining in your own grade. None were presented as options for me. The schools I attended otherwise had no idea WHAT to do with me. I spent a lot of time in trouble. My family had no idea what to do with me. I was obviously highly intelligent, but I was a troublemaker. And I had no idea what to do with me. School was miserable, mom couldn't homeschool, and ONCE they offered for me to skip a grade, 2nd. I cannot, and do not, fault my mother for saying no. I'm not sure if I agree or not, but I completely understand her objections and she was only trying to do what's best for me. My life in school was misery, I pissed off the kids, they didn't "get" me. I pissed off the teachers, they thought I was a smart ass. I pissed off the principal, I BECAME a smart ass. I distanced myself from my peers, and eventually became what you see now. A highly intelligent person, staying home to take care of the children, who cannot deal with the world at all and can't find her glasses in the freezer (I don't wear glasses anymore, but that's beside the point).

And now, here comes my oldest girl, trying to follow in my footsteps. She has the exact same problems, and I have a new set of problems. I have homeschooled, I loved it. H is in school because she wanted to be. Right off they moved her to the gifted classes...she's still having problems. Not as many, but still the same problems. To say the school is ill-equipped to deal with her is the understatement of the century. The principal's suggestion? Dumb her down so she can make friends. Ok, that's not exactly what he said. What he said is to encourage her to at least fake an interest in clothes and hair to make friends. So I talk to her and she doesn't WANT to. And why the fuck should I make her more miserable? She has 2 friends, she's happy with those two. All she wants from the other kids is to leave her the hell alone. My husband and I have discussed homeschooling again. I'm a huge advocate in homeschooling, but in this case I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. Her interaction with other children has IMPROVED since she's been in school. Maybe not by 100%, but even the teacher has noticed that since she was moved into the gifted classes, she does have it easier. To me that suggests she just needs more people who understand her, of her age, or around it. I've checked, there are no progressive type schools in the area. There is a Montessori school here, but in the state of Texas, homeschool is considered private school. You don't have to have a degree to homeschool. At the moment I'm all for taking a look at the place and getting some credentials myself. My husband says "for allw e know a janitor can be teaching those classes". Well as far as I'M concerned, if they are learning how to clean, a janitor is the best person for those classes. I don't know, his point has merit. I do not disagree that we shouldn't care about WHO is teaching the classes, however, I do not agree with his action of just blowing the whole thing off completely without looking into it. Skipping grades, not an option. It would do more harm than good. You cannot take ANY child out of a child setting and then just throw them into a teenage setting. I don't give a damn how smart they are. H is way too sensitive for the type of abuse she would have to undergo.

Quite frankly, I think the best thing is to get her tested. While IQ may not be the end all and be all, it IS an indication of which extreme you are working under. If she is only mildly higher than her classmates, skipping A grade will not hurt her. If she is as highly intelligent as the principal seems to suggest, then the Texas school system has NOTHING to offer her at all, except boredom and misery. But damn the testing is so expensive. And it's not a matter of I won't be able to pay for some luxury item, it's a matter of we're going to have to get get considerably behind on the bills to get this kind of testing done. Something I don't see as benefitting her either. No child left behind huh? Seems my child will be left way behind of her own capabilities. I suppose I could join some group of parents of gifted kids, but most of them require testing to prove the child is gifted. So even they don't really want to help with these kids. The first step is to identify them. Not leave them languishing away in some school getting in trouble constantly. And I'm not talking about getting sent to the principal trouble. I was suspended several times.

Well, I'm just friggin clueless. I'm looking it up, but it's a great big circle jerk. Not to mention not being sure of where to look. Can't get help without the testing, can't get testing without help...Do the words "fuck you" come to mind...indeed they do....

1 comments:

Women on the Verge said...

Wow... I could've written this rant myself. It's almost like you're living my life except in our house it's the youngest daughter rather than the oldest... and oh, by the way, add in a dash of dyslexia and a pinch of dysgraphia. I can't even begin to describe the hell we've all been through trying to get her what she needs. Public school sucked. The kids thought she was "weird" and the teachers had no idea what to do with her. She was even bored in the gifted program. She is nine and her scores show her functioning anywhere between jr.high and post-grad college depending on the area. Luckily there are some progressive schools in our area ( maybe you need to move to New York??). She is currently at a school specifically for gifted kids and it has been WONDERFUL. I'm a firm believer that the more gifted the child, the more they need time with those like them. It's not a big deal in this school if you're working 2 or 3 grade levels ahead, or if you like to build and program robots, or you're working on memorizing the periodic table.

Now for the practical stuff... you need to request that school test her. If you have a written request they MUST comply, THEN if you're not satisfied with the testing data I believe you may be able to get outside testing covered by insurance OR request outside testing to be done and billed to your school district.

Resources: try googling the association for gifted and talented; genius denied ( also the book by the same name); and the Johns Hopkins center for talented youth.

Most importantly, you and your daughter are not alone. As a matter of fact, Lucy has a couple of gifted kids too! Anytime you want to vent, let me know!!

E