Don't you hate it when a really awesome idea gets shot to hell?

So I got some scam religious thing in the mail. My first thought was "Shit, get them away from my door and they start sending me junk mail." So I open it up to see what it is, my curiosity ALWAYS gets the best of me. It's got some little prayer rug or some shit, pages of praise Jesus...blah blah blah..the obligatory donation. And I got to thinking, how do I make these guys SERIOUSLY regret sending me this shit?

1. pee on it...oh yeah, I was tempted, but you can't transfer bodily fluids in the mail.
2. tear it up and send the trash back in their prepaid envelope...not near as much fun.
3. Send them a copy of the Satanic bible....except I don't know where to get one.
4. My fave: Steep it in sulfur and send it back with a letter from Satan on the "prayer rug". Damn...I'm not sure if it's illegal or not to send something reeking of sulfur through the mail. But it's an awesome idea....*cries* And it was RUINED!!!!

It's a scam...not near as much fun to screw with a scammer like that. If it was a real church, yeah, but the scammers won't be bothered. They'd probably think it was funny too.

I settled for a letter on the "prayer rug"...but I'm still feeling a bit let down over it....